Good Night

Thank you all for the incredible support and good wishes. I have to admit I was shocked at the huge number of negative comments.  So many angry guys who are happy with liberal Christianity joyfully condemning me to Hell. Gee, thanks for that - though it doesn't bother me one bit. 

Decent Christian men with romantic ideals are truly a dying breed.  I hope Christian women are happy with the painfully effeminate men left behind.  The Marriage Mandate women I often spoke with were simply burning with desire for authentic men; men who didn't apologize for assuming a leadership role, having a normal sex drive, and being overtly Christian - with no excuses.  Sadly, everything in their social circles told them to hold out for effeminate preacher boys with no real experience in life - and no real knowledge of what masculinity really is. 

Liberal women rule the West and are working overtime to kill the best elements of what we used to call the "Western Tradition".   The rule of law, the centrality of Protestant Christianity, and the Judeo-Christian spirit are being slowly regulated out of public life.  

I don't think I've had any impact at all, but I am tired of writing.  Good night, all.  I hope I've added some entertainment. 

Cheers,

Michael

The Amazingly Painful Twilight

I don't know why cancer exists, but it throws so many questions at us.  I wanted to write; I wanted to paint...I even wanted to get back in on the debate between nominally Christian women and disillusioned men.  Well, I don't have time. 

Recently, I took my daughter to lunch and she wondered why it took me so much time to get comfortable. I told her I was just getting older. She paused, her face turned dark and her eyes filled with tears.  Oh no, the daughters always know first.  She cried and I said whatever I had to say to fix the situation.  We got home later and talked. She knew as most of my family knows - and don't want to talk about it. 

I'm in the final stages of inoperable cancer.  I'm sick all the time and in pain all the time. Nothing really brings relief when there is no rebound, no strength to meet you in the morning.  I've spent endless days writing and working on my non-profit.  Still, every day is really a steady decline.  I'm lucky to have a normal day.  I've been through so many painkillers I can't count.  I know which ones upset the stomach and which ones make you feel high.  Mostly these days, they just make me feel sick and make me want to sleep.  

I'm still where I was before in my beliefs. I love God, and I believe in miracles in daily life. I've experienced too many miracles to believe otherwise.  I've earned more money than I ever expected, and took care of my premature baby six weeks early who survived and is now way ahead of her peers. I don't need faith or scriptures now.  God has revealed Himself to me and has guided me when I've been able to accept guidance.  

Now I'm not able to focus. I wanted to start writing again, but my hands hurt and my head is always in pain.  What does it matter, really.  

I'm tired, but I hope all my readers take my message to heart.  There was something noble about the traditional ways. There was something so right about women supporting men who gave their all to provide for wife and family.  

I'm a little disappointed that all of the great romances in my life were with women who loved me but yet considered me a rival.  I wish I had experienced a truly traditional relationship, but I think that doesn't exist in the West anymore. 

I can't write anymore. I wish I could, but I wish you all the best.  

Keep the faith, brothers.

Getting Perspective

A recurring theme in the debate over marriage and expectations is the role and perspective of women. Should women be good and devoted Christian wives, or is it appropriate to adopt some modern feminist perspectives?  If a woman is a breadwinner, doesn't she have the same rights to lead a relationship as men do?  

This morning I ended a very serious relationship that lasted 18 months. She had little tolerance for the considerations necessary when a child is involved.  As many of you know, I was married in the past to a woman who valued equality more than traditional roles.  The end result?  I have been the sole parent to my child for about 6 of her 8 years. My now ex-wife preferred independence and (rich) husband hunting to being a good wife and mother.  I think I did a good job. My daughter and I are very close and maintain a great relationship - based largely on stand-up comedy - though I think she is funnier than I am. 

My supposedly Christian girlfriend advanced the idea that her happiness was more important than my relationship to my child.  So, at this moment, she is crying her eyes out in another state while I'm cooking Macaroni and Cheese for my daughter that is at the moment watching Sponge Bob Square Pants. 

Marriage is vitally important.  Children are vitally important.  Again and again I find women's attitudes far removed from reality.  Too many "Christian" women are painfully narcissistic and only in search of a man to be a "witness to my fabulous life".   Pathetic.

I'm a bit sad.  I loved my girlfriend, and she loved herself, her pets and her mom.  My priorities are to the Lord, to my family and to myself.  This woman, like many others I've known, are fixated on their own pleasure, their own aggrandizement, and status.  Does any of that serve the Lord?  

When my daughter asks me what I believe, I tell her that I believe God loves us completely.  He strongly desires us to do right at every opportunity.  The joy of God and Heaven is human beings doing right and striving to spread this belief.  Even at a young age, my daughter has my Jewish scepticism and argues with me. "Why don't people choose to do right?"

There's a long discussion...

I've met several women since my divorce who have really touched my heart, but none have been true Christians. They have been women using Christianity as a social club.  When pets are more important than children; when casual lovers mean more than loving husbands, then Christian women have truly lost their way.  When marrying for wealth is "godly", then it's time to head to the bar for a drink.

I'm still seeking that special woman to have a life with, but I'm beginning to get somewhat jaded. Perhaps my most cynical expectations are being proven too often. Perhaps most "Christian" women are only after Many Luxury Vacations.  If so, that's more depressing than I thought.

New Location

My company is expanding westward. I'm now a resident of Santa Fe, NM.  I appreciate the continued readership. I continue to welcome comments.  I didn't realize the impact my simple blog has had on so many people.  The enormous amount of feedback has been overwhelming. The outpouring of love and support has surprised me day after day.  I've been very busy and I have been to the Caribbean over and over, but I now have some time to write again. 

Thank you so much for your support.  I am putting a book together and welcome any feedback you all have.  The blog is now operational again and I will be posting as regularly as I can.  

MLV

Final Post

Thank you for your readership. It's time to go. 

My concern in this debate is what Debbie Maken and her crowd signifies, namely Christian Elitism. Represented most obviously by Maken and televangelists such as Joel Osteen, elitists tend to disregard any Christian tenets that don't jibe with secular expectations, materialism, and hardcore right-wing politics.  That isn't the teaching of Jesus Christ.  It is the teaching of those who have lost focus, or those who aren't true Christians. 

Is there a battle to be joined?  I don't think so.  Joseph Morrison Skelly makes a compelling argument that secularism is the new religion of the West.  There is no more Christendom, but a nervous drama of athiest humanism and nihilism guiding the left - witness the election of Buraq [sic] Obama!  

He (Skelly) decries a Christianity so desperately unsure of itself, that it cannot rise to its own defense. What to do? Positive thinking?  Voting for this party or that?  Finding a rich husband and leading him to leadership while keeping him on a leash?  Raising up painfully effeminate and morally bankrupt role models while rejecting authentic masculinity?  

Is this where the Twilight Zone music kicks in?

I'm disappointed in those who say they have taken up the Cross.  I had a discussion once with a Muslim on his way back home to the Middle East.  He said, "I don't understand Jews, they only care about leftist politics.  I don't understand Christians, it's all about hugs and love and women being more in control than men.  Don't you see, God is important. God is everything.  This is why Islam is going to cover the earth."  

God, and what He intended is no longer important to institutional Christianity.  Christianity isn't polite and secular.  It isn't a club for rich power couples.  At one time Christianity was the faith that best reflected the redemptive power of God's love for Mankind and the true path to salvation.   Now I don't know what it means. 

It's time for me to go.  I've enjoyed the discussion.  I hope I've influenced at least a few people to take the fundamental tenets of our faith seriously. There is nothing more important. 

All the best,

MLV

Crisis?

I wonder...so many guys I know have left Christianity.  Am I on a sinking ship?  Virtually all the Christian women I know haven't been to church in ages, haven't lived a Christian life.  

It may be time to sign off.  Time to take a villa and watch the fall of Western Christendom with a glass of wine.  

Anyway, I'm having a critical crisis of faith and now consider myself Jewish again - and only Jewish.  Maybe it is the down-home training, but I can't say I am pleased with the current fruits of Christianity. 

I'm off for a while, business calls.  Write to me sometime - I'd like to meet some of you and I travel a lot. 

Cheers,

MLV

An American Christian Family

The De Rose family has been active in their Evangelical church all their lives.  The women are active in church picnics and fundraisers, the men usually stay home and watch football. 

The matriarch of the family, Gloria, is married to a man she had an affair with for seven years. He's a rotten little man who curses black people and rarely leaves his easy chair. Gloria simply adores him and waits on him like an adoring servant.

The eldest sister Janie is married to a man who nearly bankrupted their mail order business twice by embezzling funds. He has had multiple affairs and never touches his wife. 

The younger sister Mary Anne has been in a fifteen year relationship with an emotionally abusive womanizer. Even the thought of breaking off her relationship with him sends her into a complete emotional collapse. 

All three of these women are dedicated Christians, and all of them are deeply in love and devoted to men who couldn't care less about them.  

This legacy is important to consider because it isn't an aberration - and has happened in millions of families. Women adore authentic men, even if they are authentically awful. This means they want to be dominated and controlled by men. Their emotional attachment to bad men is far more fulfilling and satisfying than they can ever admit.  If they step away and realize how badly they are being treated, it is a cause for shame and embarassment.  

What does this mean for ordinary decent Christian men?  It means if you have been taught from an early age that being a "nice guy" and being hyper religious is a way to win a good wife, you are being fed a load of nonsense.   Women have ZERO interest in good and gentle men. They have huge interest in powerful, successful and sometimes abusive men.  I see very few exceptions to the rule. 

This is a key part of why a lot of single Christian women cannot ever find husbands. They go to churches where masculinity is trained out of men from an early age.  In these churches, Jesus is a feminine, loving figure with no harshness or masculinity.  Masculine and assertive men are very turned off and go elsewhere.  This leaves vast numbers of women single and dissatisfied.  

Ironically, the solution offered by church leaders is to heap shame on young unmarried men who remain in the church; ordering them to "man up" and take initiative, while at the same time shaming them for having a sex drive or asking women for dates at church functions.  Of course, the devout young men don't want to offend God, but cannot ever be the type of Christian men the single women want.  Eventually the women turn to only nominally Christian men outside the churches and accept a crappy marriage instead of no marriage. 

The danger that appears to be growing is that this dysfunction is no longer simply a tendency of popular mainline Christianity, it has become institutionalized, and is a key reason why young people are no longer drawn to Christianity as they might have been.  Do you really never want to marry? Do you really never want to have sex?  Are decades of solitude and debate over theology really a valid substitute for getting on with life?  

Lots of men are saying no - and walking away from churches forever.